The Savages

Genre: Drama, Comedy
By Fox Searchlight
Directed by Tamara Jenkins
Runtime: 113 minutes
Starring Laura Linney (Wendy Savage), Philip Seymour Hoffman (Jon Savage), Philip Bosco (Lenny Savage)

Life’s Savage Reality – Ageing, A Process of Life

How would you like to leave this world? How old do you want to live? Where would you prefer to die and how? These may be some of the questions plaguing some of us who has ever come across demise in our family. However, do we have the choice as to how, where and when we would like to die? The Savages explores old age and being taken care of in old age.

The issues raised are chilling. Brother Jon and sister Wendy, acted by Philip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney, come face to face with these questions when their father’s memory started to debilitate and used his faeces to deface the toilet walls. He must absolutely be put under close watch. But who should rise to the occasion? A certain amount of sacrifice, be it in terms of time, money and spirit comes to the fore.

Indeed, this is an area that people my age is constantly engaged in, no matter how unwilling we are to face up to the facts. Facing up to the fact not everyone passes on peacefully and gracefully. Some may be struck by illness, incur huge hospital bills and eventually pass on (like my grandmother) while some may choose to have a shorter death. But can we choose? Before we even confront our own deaths, perhaps we should face up to the fact that one day, the same fate will happen to our very own dear parents. Harsh but this is reality.

What should we do with our ageing parents especially when they require round the clock attention (eating, bathing and defecating) or when they have no memories of you whatsoever, despite having given birth to you and taken care of you for 30 odd years? In fact, when my grandmother was sent for a temporary period to a nursing home because they had the right medical resources, her spirit seemed to deteriorate. Although her dozen children and dozens of grandchildren visited her on a daily basis, being put in a nursing home, to people of her and my parents generation is an unspeakable thing to do. She became very downcast and the only thing that lifted her spirits was when my uncles decided to get her out.

In fact, my very own mother has told me that if one day she were to be sent to a hospice, she would rather die. Such is the bad reputation of hospices, despite their having the right medical attention. But what should I do when such a thing were to really happen to me?

Kudos to the Savage children. Even though they were physically abused when they were children, with a missing motherly figure, their father did not give them a childhood they are fond of, they still took up the responsibility to take care of their father who was wasting away every day.

So what about myself who has come from a relatively happy and well-rounded family? Someone who did not have a luxurious lifestyle but had a normal childhood and the opportunity to go to University, enjoy a normal family life, have 3 meals served on the table everyday? What should I do with my parents when they inevitably arrive at that stage in their life?